Who holds the circle
Mani & Ben
Two brothers who co-created this space to share what they have learned, and to keep learning from every man who sits in the circle.
Mani
Heart-Centered Guide
As I contemplated what to write here, I struggled to enumerate the reasons why I am qualified to lead retreats. Part of it is my desire to stay humble, the other part is my understanding that I am not any wiser or more learned than you. I am only here to hold space for you so that you can become the author of your own life. With that said, let me tell you a little bit about my life so you can get to know me better.
One of the central questions of my life, that I have repeatedly asked myself and the universe, is what it means to be a man. Maybe this was a question my karma had destined for me or maybe it was because my father was incarcerated for the first three years of my life. Or maybe a little bit of both.
When you ask the universe enough times, it will eventually provide you with the answer. As I grew older, life itself started to teach me what it means to be a man. Our struggles provide us with the best lessons. I reached such depths of suffering and darkness that I cannot even put into words. The only way to climb out of that valley was acceptance. I accepted the suffering my ancestors and I had to endure to get to this point.
But acceptance alone does not carry us back out of the valley of darkness. You also need awareness, to understand where you have been, where you are, and where you are going. Awareness was a gift given to me through years of meditation. Meditation, which came to my life serendipitously in my valley of darkness, allowed me to have awareness, and with awareness came understanding of who I am, where I am, and where I am going.
Once I understood my place in the world, I realized that being a man in isolation is meaningless. Community is what brings us together and binds us. That’s when I discovered men’s work, groups, and retreats. Being in a men’s group was so transformational for me that I decided I wanted to share everything I have learned with others, and in turn continue to learn from others. That is when I decided to co-create this space with my dear brother Ben.
The longer I walk this path, the more I am grateful for all that I have learned along the way. What I am focused on now is not just what it means to be a man, but rather what it means to be a heart-centered human being. Our heart is the portal and our connection to nature and the universe. To find your place in the all, you need to connect to your own heart first. You need to become Of The Heart.
My friend, if I have not met you yet, I love you and I am so excited to meet you.
Ben Paneccasio
Facilitator
I spent years chasing the version of a life that was supposed to make me feel whole. I got there. I reached the things I thought I needed, and the feeling never arrived with them. What I found instead was that fulfillment built on the next accomplishment is an infinite ladder of perceived unworthiness. I could have climbed it my whole life and never once landed on the truth: that I am, always have been, and always will be whole, worthy, and loved.
Around that same time, I had what Sufis call a ‘die before you die’ experience, a moment where I truly embodied the fact that I’m not guaranteed another one. Not as an idea, but as a felt reality. It changed how I move through life: gratitude stopped being a practice I did and became the way I actually experience being alive.
I dedicated my life to being a fearless explorer of the physical world and my inner world. I’d built real skills, self-awareness, and a disciplined mind through meditation, self-inquiry, and years of inner work, and began to realize none of it could carry me any further. The mind is a great student, but a lousy master. So what would lead, if not my mind? I stopped asking and let myself be drawn into my heart instead. That’s where I found clarity that had nothing to do with memory, safety, or the need to feel comfortable. I started building a relationship with my heart the way you’d build one with a person, and life got radically simpler and wonderfully exciting.
That’s the work I do now: leading with my heart, teaching heart coherence, holding space as a Heart-Centered Guide for individuals and couples, and building retreats and gatherings where people get their own version of what I found: a way back to themselves that doesn’t require another ladder to climb.
Somewhere in that shift, I realized what actually lights me up: service. Loving people, fully. Being a solid, safe space for someone to feel truly held and truly seen, maybe for the first time in a long time.
Before any of this, I played soccer, coached elite athletes, and guided people through rivers and backcountry wilderness. That work taught me a lot about nature, presence, trust, and what it actually takes to hold someone’s safety while they do something dangerous and hard. I still guide today, and it still shapes how I hold space: steady, prepared, and fully here.
Come sit in the circle.
Tell us a little about where you are. We’ll share what we know about the next gathering and answer anything you want to ask before you decide.